One thing with my anxiety that I was ignoring for a long time is that anxiety is a sin issue, at least some of the time. I would hear people say that it was a sin issue and I need to repent but I didn’t understand why and didn’t believe that could be true, at least for me. Recently though, I have come to better understand why through talking with my mom and a friend who is constantly encouraging me to walk closer with the Lord.
It helps to hear and accept correction and encouragement in the right direction when the person giving it is understanding and loving. That’s what I love about my mom and my friend, Hannah. My mom listened to me and gave practical advise, but then turned it to the spiritual side.
Have you been in the Word lately? Not like I should be.
When you feel like you’re going to have an anxiety attack do you pray? No, not usually.
Why not? Because it doesn’t usually help.
Do you feel like you have a personal relationship with God? I have, but lately it has felt pretty weak. I know that in the past I have definitely had a strong relationship God, though.
So you don’t pray because you want to control the situation. You are too proud to give it over to God and let him control; to trust Him and let it go. Not just sitting back and doing nothing though. Do everything in you’re power to correct it, but if it is out of your control, that is when you need to let God have control. Do you feel like that is a correct assumption? Yes. I definitely want to have control. So it is a pride issue as well as a trust issue.
If you can’t control it, then you can’t control it and you need to let it go instead of getting worked up over it. Easier said than done…
That is some of how the conversation with my mom went. She helped me to see and understand how anxiety can be a sin and how in my life it is either a sin or causes me to sin.
My friend, Hannah, texted me the other day with some really encouraging truth and advise. She said,
I have struggled with anxiety too. I have had that amount of fear in me and I know how much it hurts. I know how much of a struggle it is. You say in your blog that no one understands, God does. He loves you more than each tiny grain of sand on the beach. He loves you more than the stars in the sky. And he’s not calling you to give it to him. He’s calling you to be still. Be still, and let God fight this battle. He is your strength, He is your fortress, He is your strong tower. He is your captain, He is your loving father, He is your friend. He wants to fight this battle for you. And I know, that it will not be a short battle, but more of a war. The devil is real and alive and will get to us in any way possible. Right now, he’s using anxiety. I want you to know that you are not anxiety. Don’t claim the lies the devil whispers in your ears. Let God in and let him fight. Choose every day to let God help you and let him be your strength. Don’t claim that you are a person with anxiety. Claim that you are a child of God, because that is what you are. You are his precious daughter, fearfully and wonderfully made. Yes, you struggle with anxiety. But it can be overcome with God. Jesus said that in this world you will have trouble, but take heart, for he has overcome the world. He has already conquered the devil and he will be your protector and defender of him. Wake up every day and look in the mirror. Tell yourself that you are a daughter of the most high king and he is fighting on your side. That God has said you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Tell yourself that you won’t let the devil have victory over you or your feelings that day. Go to sleep doing the same thing. And do it over and over and over again until you believe it. I know your heart probably doesn’t believe that right now, even if you want to claim those things. But choose to claim them even if you don’t feel them. God will fight this battle for you. And he will win.”
So I have taken her advise and am trying to apply it to my life. I wrote on my mirror, “I am a daughter of the most high King! He is fighting on my side. God says that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I won’t let the devil have victory over me or my feeling today. God will fight for me.” That way whenever I get up in the morning or anytime I look in my mirror, I am reminded of that.
My mom has encouraged me to listen to the Psalms, so I have been doing that for most of the time I am in the car on the way to work. The first day I did that was a really good day, the first good day I had had for weeks and weeks. I started out my morning looking in the mirror and reading the words over and over and trying to lock them into my brain. Then as I drove to pick up my friend for work, I listened to the Psalms. Like really listened to them and let the words wash over my heart. I also stopped and got a pumpkin spice latte from Starbucks and maybe that helped too lol! Don’t want to discount it anyway 😉 I tried to be positive and to keep reminding myself that if I cannot control a situation then I don’t need to freak out about it. If I can control it, then calmly do what I can to work it out. If there is nothing I can do, God has called me to Be Still. To rest in Him. He has it all under control even though I don’t. It helped that day. I know this battle, or rather war, is far from being won, but half the battle is understanding what can be done to win it. I know God will fight for me. And like Hannah said, I know that He will win.
In my Bible reading this morning, I was reading Psalm 69. In verse 33 God says, “For the Lord hears the needy and does not despise his own people who are prisoners.” These words about jumped off the page at me. This includes prisoners to anxiety, depression, and their own mind. Yes, I struggle with depression as well, though it is not as prominently as anxiety. The Lord used this verse to remind me that He does hear, even when I don’t think or feel that He does. I can’t go off of what I feel, I have to go off of what in know in my heart to be true.
I am a daughter of the most high King. He is my Father. He is my Protector and Lord. He is watching over me and will protect me. He will fight my battles for me, if I will let Him 😌